Hey Everyone!
Sorry for the long delay. Life hasnt been going as planned, but yet, when does it ever? I am learning more and more each day that I am not in control and my plans dont mean much. It is all in God's plan and control.
Unfortunately the weight loss journey has been on hold. I have been trying to make better decisions over all but I barely have time to think about it.
I went back to the Dr to get the results to all the fertility testing I had and I believe we at least have an answer to why I keep miscarrying. The average woman's cycle is @ 28 days. Mine is @23 days. We figured out that I do not have enough estrogin and progesterone which lengthens your cycle as well as supports a pregnancy. Good news is it is fixable (medically speaking. we arent sure what God's plans are). Bad news is now is not the time to be fixing it. We cant try for a child again because of the situation we are in.
Bobby has been laid off for about 4 months now. The severance has stopped and we are currently without health insurance. We are applying to Mass Health but everything is so up in the air right now. We knew we were going toget the letter any day that mentioned how much our rent was going to go up but we
knew thought that we had 30 days before the end of our lease to give them notice that we had to move out. That would have been January 28. Unfortunately we have until Dec 27th to let them know. So if Bobby doesnt get a job by then we will have to give out notice and move by the end of February. Its gets even more complicated because we have to stay in Burlington. Bobby did really great on his fire fighter tests and the town may be hiring soon. If we were to move out of town he would lose those chances. And so far, there is NOTHING in Burlington we can afford on just my salary. We dont have a clue what we are going to do. I completely trust in direction God has us going, but I wish we would get there already. This year (year and a half now) has been so upsetting and overwhelming to me and all I want is to stop going downhill. I am taking any hours I can possibly get so I am working a ton and I am exhausted. On top of it all, I am sad for a couple reasons. We are not able to buy presents for anyone this year. I know that is not what Christmas is supposed to be about but I know I will be sitting there Christmas day with everyone passing presents they got us and I will just be so depressed that I couldnt give anything to anyone. I love giving people things they want or I think they will enjoy. Another reason I am a little depressed is I was due around Christmas this year with my last pregancy. We had found out that it would have been a girl so everytime I (and my husband) see little girls in their cute little Christmas outfits, I just get so sad. I know it will get better and I know I am going to look back on this many years from now and be so blessed by what we have been given. It is just really, really hard right now.
This is the verse that Bobby and I are continually being reminded of and is giving us some peace on the situation
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
