And the beat goes on...

Hey Everyone,
I know I havent blogged in a while but this month has been crazy busy. I have had a couple more downs and I just didn't think I could take anymore. My weight loss goals took a back seat and my motivation went down hill. I have been going through more fertility testing to find out what may be causing the miscarriages and Bobby's grandmother passed away. That was such a sad ordeal because not only is it hard losing someone, but the government (she was on section 8) gives you 14 days after the passing to get her stuff out of the apartment. Bobby and I were supposed to go on a much needed vacation and instead we were at his Grandmothers house everyday cleaning it out. Such a hard process when you are trying to grieve. I felt guilty because I was grieving the loss of Bobbby's gramma but at times I could not believe I wasn't going on vacation. I just felt like it was just another dissapointment this year has handed to me.
Like I said, I have also been doing more testing and feel like it is just one test after another. Most recently I had a 3hr glucose test and it seems my sugar went up really high. My doctor may put me on Metformin, a Type 2 diabetes med but I go back to see him on Oct 1st to talk more about it. I am also having another test done that day called an Endometrial biopsy. They are going to biopsy my uterus. He says my uterus may not be providing enough hormones to a fetus to help the numbers (HCG and Progesterone) go up so thats what I am having that done. I am not looking forward to it because it will be painful.
Even with all this going on, I am seeing the things God is doing in my life. I don't know how people get through things without the faith in God. I feel he is already using me getting through this year to help out a friend I have been recently connected to who is going through a hard time right now. I know I am learning to trust God more and that I can't be in control of everything, (or anything really). With the childhood I had, I have had trouble with wanting to be in control so I can control how everything turns out for me. But more and more I am realizing no matter how in control I feel, I never really am.
So now with the possible Diabetes diagnosis I need to lose the weight and get healthy more than ever. I need your help and support. I need walking buddies. I was also thinking of starting an exercise group where we do some sort of fun dance exercising like Zumba or other videos like that. I love dancing but not comfortable (as well as can't afford right now) taking a class. But I would be willing to be with others who would love to find a fun way to exercise but are usually uncomfortable doing it around others. This way we know everyone else is uncomfortable too and we can just get over it. Well let me know if you want to join me in any of that. I am going to start weighing in Monday and start over with weekly weigh ins. Thank you to all who have been asking me about my blog and keeping up with me.